* Alchemy Farmhouse *

Fe y Peligro
July 2, 2007, 10:05 am
Filed under: poetry

He called me “Danger” well before I

realized I was in it.

I ached and agonized over

 the daughter I would call Faith

–even though that’s just what I broke,

by loving a man other than

her daddy.

His thick, black dreadlocks

would wrap around my wrists at night.


Johnny Cash and Bill Monroe sparked

Humboldt’s best in the shadowy A-frame.

Cat-napping in the grow room,

while wisdom teeth emerged,

never sharing their sage advice;

Waiting for a uterine answer,

because, in the North Country

you can’t just go buy a test.



Boots collected in brown puddles by drafty doors.

I was stained with wood ash and chipotle,

to anyone who was looking.

My girlfriend and I

filled the salsa and guacamole bowls.

Orangeade sundown spilled on the blouse-blue sky–

backdrop for 13 tables.

I walked home for miles,

too tired of company to hitch.

Just as well that at home,

the man who wanted a child

didn’t want to talk.

I couldn’t listen for his words;

my ears listened for

a heartbeat instead.

Waking from dreams of her,

in the womb of the wood sauna.

Lights out,

breath held,

willing my heart to stop,

and stop hers too.


Then another good-morning sunrise,


I scream over breakfast,

Without ears near to hear it.

But the Wailers were louder,

And offered better advice that

“I rule my destiny”.


So I put on boots,

slate suede

with threadbare laces,

trying not to tip over

into last night’s puddle while I looped,


and pulled through again.

The briny floor leftovers mine.


they bled out lonely.

And then that day,

so did I.


without breast milk,




The man that called me Danger

stopped that all those years ago

when I left the house

that Faith broke.

And this morning he told me

I smelled like Easter candy.
























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